I get about as much joy from a trip to the gym as I would a trip to the dump. Its hell in a confined, sweaty, over competitive, hot space full of people in tight pants.
If I were famous I'd get papped in my trackies walking out McDonald's clutching a chicken mayo burger with large fries. Probably end up in heats circle of shame. That was once a thing. Not the circle of shame, me walking out McDonald's in my gym gear. Just once I swear.
Working out makes you hungry. Duh.
Thankfully I'm not famous, just honest and honestly, I hate the gym.
- Just getting there requires too much energy, if I'm too lazy to get a bus them really there's no chance of a workout is there.
- No matter how hard I try I can't ever quite get the sports chic look right. Primark Gym leggings do give you camel toe, just saying.
- It doesn't make me feel good, it makes me feel terrible. Endorphin's, yeah I don't have them.
- I can never work the bloody machines, the cross trainer will be the death of me I swear. I've had to ask for help more times than I care to remember. Once to a rather dashing young man *mortifying*
- I have an immense fear of being thrown off the running machine backwards. They say the chances are slim, I say otherwise. All it takes a hot guy to walk past and I'm gone.
- And please, why cover the walls in mirrors, seeing myself working out is not motivational it's quite frankly hideous. Who looks good squatting. Not me.
- Guys judge you. girls judge you. I feel judged before I've even done anything. God knows what they think after seeing me prancing about for 20 minutes on the treadmill.
- Weights are a no go, too much testosterone for that one.
- Why am I the only person to ever work out sans makeup.
- "I'm paying money for this and I'm hating every second of it. what a bloody waste of my life"
- People watch you work out and it creeps me out. I admit I do this myself but at least I make it subtle. Umm do you mind.
- I never remember to drink water, running and unscrewing a bottle lid is quite tricky to be fair. Results in me being a dehydrated, sweaty mess.