24 thoughts on a night out

1) Smoky eye or bold lip. Ohh what the heck, lets do both!

2) Well now I look like a beaten up clown. Fab. 

3) Must get a good selfie, this is borderline crucial. I will not leave this house until I have a good selfie. 

4) Okay artificial lighting is NOT flattering, or is that just my face. really hope that's not just my face. 

5) I look fugly in every single bloody one, fuck this shit.

6) The amount of crap I can fit into this clutch bag should be legendary. Do I have everything? Let's check for the 10th time just to be sure.  

7) Jager bombs or sambucca, equally disgusting. 

8) Cleavage (okay attempted cleavage) or legs, or both cause yeah. No shame.

9) Snapchat story is underway, now I must look like I'm having the time of my life.
Why am I not having the time of my life.

10) Literally my feet are about to drop off. 

11) Totally craving a greasy burger and chips right now.

12) Well dewy foundation was a mistake, I look like Edward Cullen but a really unattractive, sweaty version. In a playsuit.

13) Never wearing a play suit ever again, now I'm just half naked in a cubicle. All I wanted was to pee.

14) Hair is now as flat as a pancake, F you Elnett, you are not making me feel worth it right now.

15)  "Omg guys I've actually lost my phone. No joke"

16) Wine is not my friend. Why do I always go back. Whyyyyyyy?   

17) Also why is my lipstick never capable of staying on for more than 30 minutes. 

18) No idea who this random is in the ladies but pretty sure she's even more wasted than me. Let's take some selfies and be besties. 

19) Why is everyone hitting on my best friend and not me. God I knew I was the ugly one. 

20) Yes you can buy me a drink. No I will not make out with you. 

21) I am so drunk right now, I'm actually a mess. A disgrace. Maybe this is why I'm single. 

22) If someone could just carry me straight to bed then that'd be really great thanks.

23) Shit! Money for a taxi. 

24) Actually I don't even care I just want my bed.