searching for gym motivation

Despite being incredibly stingy not even the £20 a month membership fee is enough to get me down to the gym. I impulsively joined a few days ago after being dumped, its as good a reason as any! My initial thought was get fit, get toned, look fab and show him what he`s missing, two large galaxy share bars later and I'm afraid that hasn't quite worked out for me.
People always talk about how working out releases endorphin's, I myself don't know what endorphin's are to be quite honest but they sound great, its supposed to give you a boost and make you feel good. I fear I don't have the ability to release these so called endorphin's. After my first workout I felt bloody awful, my skin had turned the color of a lobster, every single joint and muscle in my body throbbed, I had a sore throat and my head was all dizzy. I did however feel a sense of empowerment, I had just endured 20 minutes on a running machine and I had lived to tell the tale.
Despite not exactly getting off to the best start I do intend on making a few small changes with my life and going to the gym is one of them, I have no interest in gaining a flat stomach and washboard abs, I can dream but I`d far rather carry on eating pasta and tiramisu to my hearts content. I simply want to stick to something and prove to myself that I can do it. That small sense of achievement I felt after walking out the gym covered in sweat in my skin tight yoga pants felt strangely good. I did however feel incredibly out of place, swarms of men were huddled together in the corner, directly in front of a huge wall length mirror doing what I can only assume would be described as `pumping iron`, something I am very unfamiliar with yet something that just makes me want to laugh. Needless to say I will not be joining in with the weightlifting anytime soon.
  My only aim is to endure some intense cardio a couple of times a week until I can actually work out without feeling faint and queasy. Small baby steps like these mean I have half a chance of sticking to my weekly routine. I am in no doubt that I wont become an athlete overnight, nor do I really want to, its just about giving myself something to focus on and something to aim towards, everyone needs a little focus in life and this is now mine, until further notice that is...
Motivation doesn't come easy so to start I'm going to invest in a decent pair of gym trainers, I'm thinking the more money I spend the more likely I am to want to use them, my brain  just works like that. I'm also recruiting my sister who has no choice but to join me on my workout sessions, she is far more energetic and sporty than I am in fact she has already installed an app on her phone that has calculated the perfect workout routine for us, bums, tums and god knows what else. She will not let me slack and that's what I need. I've also just created a playlist on my phone solely suited for working out, fat boy slim anyone? Its not much but I'm hoping it'll be enough to finally get me off my butt and feeling fab, watch this space.

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